Lose Yourself

Yesterday the dogs and I hit the trail for our usual Thursday morning run. It was a chilly 19 degrees and my legs felt a bit heavy from the night before at the gym. I was only planning our usual 2 or 3 miler, so I'm cruising along watching the Brando and Emmylou snuffle every bit of ground they could get their noses on. It was so cold my phone died. It shut down right in the middle of Eminem's "Lose Yourself". So I stopped for a minute and then thought, 'do what the song said, lose yourself'. I had a short day of only 3 patients so I wasn't pressed for time. I know those trails well enough to find my way back to the trailhead at any time, so I lost myself. The rhythm of the run was just so head clearing. I started thinking of a friend of mine, a cycling buddy and a very nice lady. Her mother is dying from brain cancer. I lost my Daddy to brain cancer in 1996 at the fairly young age of 63, and there isn't a day that goes by that I wouldn't give everything I have to spend one more day with him. Everyone's experience is different, but I can really empathize with what my friend and her family are going through right now. I have never met my friend's mother, but I know she raised a fine daughter; a positive person who has a good heart and a ready smile. So I lost myself and meditated on her Mom. I prayed that her passing is easy and she is surrounded by people who she loves and who love her. I prayed that as she soars free of the surly bonds of this earthly existence, she will be greeted with the eternal light and eternal freedom from pain that awaits us all. Before I knew it we had been running for about an hour and a half, maybe five miles or so, and were almost back at the trailhead. I stretched my arms to the wonderfully cold and clear morning sky and hoped that when my friend's mother's race is run and she is in Heaven maybe she will meet my Daddy. Look for him Mrs C. He will be the barrel chested fellow with piercing green eyes, sipping good whiskey, reading a book or working the NY Times crossword puzzle in ink. When you both look down on the ones you loved, who think of you every day, know that you were and will always be loved and remembered, forever.